I Can't Sleep..

23/5/2013, 01.11AM

I feel terrible..
Thinking too much of you,
It is the worst thing i ever dreamed.
My heart skip a beat every time your name
slipped in my brain.
What should I do?
The pressure keep rising,
your image is everywhere in my head.
Blocking my senses,
I can't sleep..

Daydream I

I need a sweet escape;
That is all I need for today.

To Somewhere quiet;
a sanctuary, if there is one.

Sitting on the bench;
underneath a faithful tree.

And read a book;
or sleep, maybe.

I smiled as I saw the lake;
singing my name.

Surrounded by the green;
makes me dream.

So, I close my eyes;
and forget everything.

My Birthday Prayer

O God, I thank You for giving me another year of life.

I thank You for all the people who have remembered me to-day, and who have sent me cards, and letters, and good wishes and presents; for every-thing which I have been enabled by You to do and to be in the past year.

I thank You for all the experiences of the past year; For times of success which will always be happy memories; For times of failure which reminded me of my own weakness and my need of You; For times of joy the sun was shining; For times of sorrow which drove me to You.

Forgive me, for the hours of I have wasted; for the chances I failed to take; for the opportunities I missed in the past year. Forgive me that I have not made of life all that I might have made of it and could have made of it. And help me in the days which lie ahead to make this the best year yet, and in it to bring credit to myself, happiness to my loved ones, and joy to You.



* I copied this from a book " My Travel Companion". Today is my birthday (21.11.2012). I'm glad that I have a circle of good friends who remembered my birthday, I love you guys and may God Bless you all. I don't actually expecting my friends to remember my birthday, because I tend to keep it secret, only certain people knows it. And for those who forget, It's okay..I'm not that evil to force you guys to remember it anyway, don't have to feel bad about it, I understand :) Hopefully you guys having a great day today.*

There's A Reason

For every pain, that we must bear, for every burden, ev'ry care,
There's a Reason

For ev'ry grief, that bows the heart. For ev'ry tear-drop that is shed,
There's a Reason

For ev'ry hurt, for ev'ry plight, for ev'ry lonely, pain-racked night,
There's a Reason

But if we trust God, as we should, It all will out for our good,
He knows the Reason.


I copied this from a book, forgot what is the title..
To all the people out there, remember, everything happens for a Reason, no matter how hard and painful your life, you must NOT give up easily.

THE GARDEN IS NOT THE GOAL, THE GOAL IS TO GARDEN

God!! I'm so happy!!!...this thing never happen before..and I'm gonna make sure it will  happen again:D. Look, I'm the kind of person who likes to listen to what other people might think about me. What I mean is, I want to make sure that I know my mistakes and weaknesses in whatever stuff I get into, involved or do, especially my artwork. I want to listen to what other people responds when they saw my work, so that I know what is the problem. Few days ago, I posted my artwork in one of my groups in Facebook, the group is known as 'Art Dreamer', and most of  the people in the group are good in art. You can find a lot fascinating, awesome, and beautiful artwork in that group. There is one guy who suddenly commented on my post, and I am really appreciate and thankful for his beautiful words. Here is some of his advise,

No matter the artist, you, me, dali, picasso, rembrandt, anyone.. the final piece of work is not the art. The "art" is the act of making the final piece of work, weather it be a painting.. a piece of blown glass,

a sculpture, or even a garden. 

NEVER forget, that the garden is not the goal.. the goal is to garden and follow the path through the garden.. in order for other people to see the garden how you did in your minds eye.

Think of it this way.. If i hold your painting up and ask you what your looking at.. dont say "fruit".. 
The answer should actually be .. a painting.. or better yet, fibers wrapped tightly into a canvas stretched on the ribs of a tree.
Never let your eye deceive you. This is important!

After seeing his comment, I was like, "My God..that is so beautiful", I'm not sure whether he copied it from somewhere or someone, but it's really nice to receive such a words from someone who loves the same passion and share the same dream just like you, he might be just a 'nobody' for you, but sometimes words a more powerful than anything in this world, it can change one's heart. Since I don't have any confident in my artwork, these quotes are so touching and inspiring. I'm going keep these quotes in my life journal and remember it always, also, I want to inspire the people surrounding me with this quotes and give them hopes to keep on moving forward in their journey to create a beautiful artwork:) 

I'm not 'Alone'~

Here comes holiday..since I'm not going back to my hometown..so I have to spend my whole week with assignments so that I won't die because of boredom sickness..aa~ being left behind and living in this room all by myself is kind a normal things for me..yaa..I'm used to it..sometimes I like being alone, not because I hate people surrounding me..NO, absolutely not. It's because I somehow realize that I can focus on my work when I'm alone in a quite place, my brain will automatically 'generate' on its own and come out with some perfect, brilliant and awesome ideas! cool huh? hehe..,but apparently, I feel like a real loner~(gosh..sounds pathetic..huhu..) since I entered UiTM, found new friends and fun room-mate:), I'm so happy and I just can't stop hang-out with my friends, been there done that, sharing everything good and bad times together, staying up all night together just to get our assignments done. So, what happen to me right now is that I'm living in this room ALONE, no room-mate, she's now at her hometown probably enjoying herself out..aa..suddenly missed her..,because we used to go out together and do all kinds of things in our lovely room;) now she's not here, the emptiness seems obvious..no sounds of her, quite boring. Well, hopefully she's having a great time with her family and......manage to finish her assignments on time! haha~...dear room-mate, please come back early~^^

Life

What is there to regret 
if life is so full of suffering 
it's true, life is like a dream 
everything floats away to dreamscape
All of it creates hopes and wishes

life is not a self-forced destiny
humans only plan but God judges them
only then it can be understood,
the real price of reality and life itself
that things need understanding and 
sacrifices

And try to stretch your mind wider
Happiness and bitterness will come ahead
If we happen to survive from the angry waves
our hearts will cry out of joy

But we are loose in the battle of life
then we accept it as it is
for life without such experiences
is really worth nothing at all

We know from the past mistakes
We have finally come to our senses
We learn that nothing is forever
Not every chapter of our life 
Has a bed full of roses

Love and life is what we make of it

Regards from
'The Crying Soul'

Will you stay the same or will you fight?

If I stay the same, does it mean I give up?

If I stay the same, does it mean I'm stupid?

If I stay the same, does it mean I'm a fool?

If I stay the same, does it mean I'm a coward?

If I stay the same, would it make a different?

If I stay the same, will they hurt me again?

what will happen if I stay the same?

If I fight back, does it mean I'm a bad person?

If I fight back, does it mean I'm sensitive?

If I fight back, does it mean I'm wrong?

If I fight back, does it mean I'm ego?

If I fight back, does it mean I'm an attention seeker?

If I fight back, will someone hurt?

If I fight back,would it make a different?

what will happen if I choose to fight?

so I say, let it be. Because I know, only God UNDERSTAND how I feel.

I don't have to say it out loud, because He knows my silence.

He will send me A friend to talk with me, because I know that is how He SPEAK to me.

He know how broken I am, He put all the pieces back together

just to remind and force me to become more stronger than before,

and heal my wounds.

That's how I learn how to appreciate all the people that makes me suffer.